Lament and Pivot
Jun. 2nd, 2023 09:53 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
innerstoryMy presence here over the last few years has been fairly cringe as I move through the worst round of depression I've felt in decades. The last few months though has been more of an exploration of "what is me and what is a wider issue" in that I know there is a grain of truth at the center of some of the philosophical doldrums I have been working though.
Today I read this article about the changing relationship between the internet and my generation as a late X or early Y depending on how you want to split the hair. That article is below:
https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/millennial-internet-social-media-b2348853.html
There are many specifics here I think are unduly focused at the internet when the culprit is simply aging. Lamenting not seeing exciting things like 50+ pics of a house party really just exposes the immaturity of the author for instance. With that said, the general tenor or the article does feel valid.
I do feel there are not many places for me and I have watched my online community evaporate over the last 13 years. Again, this feels more like a product of aging. My friends in my age bracket are busy making babies and buying houses they can finally financially bare after a much longer period of scratching than in the past. It’s hard to spend needless time online when many in my group spend all day staring at screens for work. Further, I'm just old enough that I don't trust my smartphone. I have one and I do use it for many things, but I've always been guarded about my personal info of which all modern platforms depend.
There have been bright spots of course, notably Mastodon. The instance I am on does slant heavily to my age bracket. Sure, none of the people I know IRL are on it but for the first time in a long time I have met people my age doing not fake sounding things that are inspiring. With all of its positives Mastodon is still a low traffic network though. This makes it easy to stay engaged and caught up, but it also means it’s not engaging enough to make it a more regular part of my repertoire. For example I logged in last night only to realize it had been more than a month since I last checked it.
Working in the human services field I know there are other social trends at play. For example there is a mountain of studies showing that men become less engaged and connected with others as they age. It’s unclear what causes this but studies show men’s non-family circle of friends shrink rather dramatically over time. This has held true of me as well. In high school I had a large circle of close to 70 friends I saw monthly outside of family and coworkers. That number ballooned to over a 100 in college. But since graduating it has plunged. Outside of family and work I really only have like six friends I am in any kind of contact with. I physically see fewer than three of them quarterly. Most of my socialization is channeled through my partner and her friends as well as a few people we became close with as couples but these relationships do not feel as connected. It’s more like having activity based friends than friends you'd call if you needed an ally.
I don't know what the solutions to these issues are, but I agree with the article that it’s not likely on the internet. This is driven by the growing fakeness of everything there as commercialization takes the day. Everyone has an angle online now, everything is so polished it’s not believable or authentic, and the communities that do buck these trends are small and hard to stay connected too.
Today I read this article about the changing relationship between the internet and my generation as a late X or early Y depending on how you want to split the hair. That article is below:
https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/millennial-internet-social-media-b2348853.html
There are many specifics here I think are unduly focused at the internet when the culprit is simply aging. Lamenting not seeing exciting things like 50+ pics of a house party really just exposes the immaturity of the author for instance. With that said, the general tenor or the article does feel valid.
I do feel there are not many places for me and I have watched my online community evaporate over the last 13 years. Again, this feels more like a product of aging. My friends in my age bracket are busy making babies and buying houses they can finally financially bare after a much longer period of scratching than in the past. It’s hard to spend needless time online when many in my group spend all day staring at screens for work. Further, I'm just old enough that I don't trust my smartphone. I have one and I do use it for many things, but I've always been guarded about my personal info of which all modern platforms depend.
There have been bright spots of course, notably Mastodon. The instance I am on does slant heavily to my age bracket. Sure, none of the people I know IRL are on it but for the first time in a long time I have met people my age doing not fake sounding things that are inspiring. With all of its positives Mastodon is still a low traffic network though. This makes it easy to stay engaged and caught up, but it also means it’s not engaging enough to make it a more regular part of my repertoire. For example I logged in last night only to realize it had been more than a month since I last checked it.
Working in the human services field I know there are other social trends at play. For example there is a mountain of studies showing that men become less engaged and connected with others as they age. It’s unclear what causes this but studies show men’s non-family circle of friends shrink rather dramatically over time. This has held true of me as well. In high school I had a large circle of close to 70 friends I saw monthly outside of family and coworkers. That number ballooned to over a 100 in college. But since graduating it has plunged. Outside of family and work I really only have like six friends I am in any kind of contact with. I physically see fewer than three of them quarterly. Most of my socialization is channeled through my partner and her friends as well as a few people we became close with as couples but these relationships do not feel as connected. It’s more like having activity based friends than friends you'd call if you needed an ally.
I don't know what the solutions to these issues are, but I agree with the article that it’s not likely on the internet. This is driven by the growing fakeness of everything there as commercialization takes the day. Everyone has an angle online now, everything is so polished it’s not believable or authentic, and the communities that do buck these trends are small and hard to stay connected too.
