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Hello June
Jun. 1st, 2022 10:07 amI have been challenging myself to use more positive language. Its so easy to be negative and snark just doesn't seem to hit like it used to. Snark can be used to conceal more negative intentions. I used to think snark and it linguistic cousins were just part of my personality, but I objectively know that my behavior is not innate.
This is not simply a "fake it until you make it" sort of thing. On some level I choose what comes out of my mouth and by exerting control over that I am forced to think deeper. For example, I often use self deprecating humor. This started as child, but as I have gotten older I realize I use it as an out. This type of humor tends to kill conversations or pushes discussions to new topics. I often use it when I am uncomfortable and need a social out, rather than just being honest with myself or those around me.
Language is also a reflection of thought and if the language is negative, snarky, or self deprecating so are the thoughts in my head. I often describe my struggles with depression as having a little monster in my head feeding me negativity and justifications for engaging in destructive behavior. I am not going to use this description any longer because its a way to not take responsibility for my feelings and struggles. There is no monster, it is me.
This thought process all started from a sticker of all things. It simply read "Act as if You are Already Free" and it has been haunting me since. I do not need justification, permission, or some external factor to change. I am already free, but I am also afraid.
I am afraid to take responsibility, make necessary changes, own my values even if it leads me to beliefs or outcomes I hadn't considered, and most importantly to have real conversations with the people in my life.
This is not simply a "fake it until you make it" sort of thing. On some level I choose what comes out of my mouth and by exerting control over that I am forced to think deeper. For example, I often use self deprecating humor. This started as child, but as I have gotten older I realize I use it as an out. This type of humor tends to kill conversations or pushes discussions to new topics. I often use it when I am uncomfortable and need a social out, rather than just being honest with myself or those around me.
Language is also a reflection of thought and if the language is negative, snarky, or self deprecating so are the thoughts in my head. I often describe my struggles with depression as having a little monster in my head feeding me negativity and justifications for engaging in destructive behavior. I am not going to use this description any longer because its a way to not take responsibility for my feelings and struggles. There is no monster, it is me.
This thought process all started from a sticker of all things. It simply read "Act as if You are Already Free" and it has been haunting me since. I do not need justification, permission, or some external factor to change. I am already free, but I am also afraid.
I am afraid to take responsibility, make necessary changes, own my values even if it leads me to beliefs or outcomes I hadn't considered, and most importantly to have real conversations with the people in my life.
