Opportunity Knocking
Dec. 6th, 2022 08:06 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
innerstorySaw an ad today for a academic advisor with a local college, specifically for their online program. It is a hybrid position and dovetails well with my current skills while providing me the opportunity to grow them as well. I have decided to apply and feel like it is worth the potential pay cut at this point.
I'm just done. I am done with my specific program, the employer I have, and the field it exists in. I know a lot of people in the non-profit and human services fields get to this space and leave. It just feels weird to actively want to pivot to something else, even if it is more of puddle jump than a sea change. I've been working in human services since I was 18 and that means its been part of my life for nearly 25 years.
Certainly, the culture at my current employer has hastened this feeling of being done. But, my experiences for the last decade have too. My previous two employers really hit home that working at small non-profits isn't really viable for most people, but large ones have just as many significant drawbacks I have learned with my current employer. Either you are constantly at risk of layoff pending grant funding, or you have the security/pay/benefits and in order to keep it you have to live in a real life version of Office Space.
I honestly dont even know what my job is anymore or if the program I run really needs to exist. Part of this is being ground down by pandemic life and the trauma of working through it. I've not been remote for most of it, except the first summer when I had to furlough my entire staff....itself being very traumatizing. I have been going in everyday besides that, seeing the degradation of communities and organizations I work with every day. The significant rise in hearses pulling up to the medical facility next to my work has impacted me more than I'd like to admit. Worse, seeing everyone above me at home while I'm not even allowed to be home for my actual admin tasks has really led me to resent most of my coworkers and supervisors. Thats not fair, but neither is how I feel.
All this in conjunction with my employers tendency to add more and more to peoples plates until they leave; while constantly expressing not understanding why we can't keep people has just crushed last few give-a-fucks.
My original plan was to wait out my new (third!) supervisor until she was settled in and then apply to move to some other part of the organization such as admin or information management. My logic was I could keep my benefits, maybe my pay, and divorce myself from the part of the work causing the most pain. Now...now I'm not so sure that is far enough away. I'm going to widen my net and be more flexible, hopefully it will lead to something with enough goodwill I can recover and claw back a bit.
I'm just done. I am done with my specific program, the employer I have, and the field it exists in. I know a lot of people in the non-profit and human services fields get to this space and leave. It just feels weird to actively want to pivot to something else, even if it is more of puddle jump than a sea change. I've been working in human services since I was 18 and that means its been part of my life for nearly 25 years.
Certainly, the culture at my current employer has hastened this feeling of being done. But, my experiences for the last decade have too. My previous two employers really hit home that working at small non-profits isn't really viable for most people, but large ones have just as many significant drawbacks I have learned with my current employer. Either you are constantly at risk of layoff pending grant funding, or you have the security/pay/benefits and in order to keep it you have to live in a real life version of Office Space.
I honestly dont even know what my job is anymore or if the program I run really needs to exist. Part of this is being ground down by pandemic life and the trauma of working through it. I've not been remote for most of it, except the first summer when I had to furlough my entire staff....itself being very traumatizing. I have been going in everyday besides that, seeing the degradation of communities and organizations I work with every day. The significant rise in hearses pulling up to the medical facility next to my work has impacted me more than I'd like to admit. Worse, seeing everyone above me at home while I'm not even allowed to be home for my actual admin tasks has really led me to resent most of my coworkers and supervisors. Thats not fair, but neither is how I feel.
All this in conjunction with my employers tendency to add more and more to peoples plates until they leave; while constantly expressing not understanding why we can't keep people has just crushed last few give-a-fucks.
My original plan was to wait out my new (third!) supervisor until she was settled in and then apply to move to some other part of the organization such as admin or information management. My logic was I could keep my benefits, maybe my pay, and divorce myself from the part of the work causing the most pain. Now...now I'm not so sure that is far enough away. I'm going to widen my net and be more flexible, hopefully it will lead to something with enough goodwill I can recover and claw back a bit.
